Locked Up
by dagitab ng sinagtala
Summary: Uncle Draco and Aunt Hermione had been very naughty lately and all that James and Albus Potter wanted was for them to get along. Surely they can do what their mum and dad does to them, right? Sometimes, the strongest magic can be cast by the most innocent toddlers.


**CHAPTER 1: TIME-OUT**

* * *

"Please tell me you've figured it out."

"Will you please keep quiet? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Concentrate?" the blonde man snorted. "We've been here for almost half an hour – and all the while I thought you were the brightest witch of our age!"

"AAAAAH!" the woman exclaimed in exasperation. "Well go ahead and have a go at it if you're so clever!" She stomped away from the bedroom door and plopped herself onto the bed.

The man stood from the couch and cockily made his way towards the door. He was a wizard cop – a well-trained and a highly respected Auror. What can't he do? With much confidence, he drew out his wand from his back pocket and aimed it at the keyhole.

" _Alohomora!_ "

Nothing happened.

" _Alohomora Duo!"_

Still, nothing happened.

" _Annihilare! Liberare! Emancipare!"_

"Nothing's going to happen~" the woman sing sang as he grew more frustrated by the second.

" _Finite Incantatem!_ AAAAH! _Bomba—"_

"Hold it! _Protego!_ "

In an instant, the man was thrown out to the other end of the room as the woman's shield charm on the door hit him. Thank Merlin for Mister Snugglebum – the giant stuffed bear just literally saved his life.

"Seriously? _Bombarda_? You think Ginny will let you live if you blast one of her doors?" The woman quickly got up on her feet and rushed to the man's side to aide him. He was flat on his back with the big teddy bear just beneath his head. "And the children could be right outside the door!" She pulled him up with his left arm and helped him sit on the nearby couch.

"One of those _bastards_ must be a dark lord protégé" he croaked as he felt a jolt of pain rush through his lower back. "There's no way we cannot open that door using all of those spells."

" _Language_ ", the woman sternly replied. "They're kids, okay? Not bastards. Your ego's just bruised because you weren't able to _Auror_ your way out, _oh-so-mighty Uncle Draco_."

"Oh boo hoo, _Aunt Hermione_. Just go to the library and read a book to find out the correct spell – oh wait, you can't. Why? Because the bloody door is locked!"

"I hate you."

"You're welcome."

* * *

 **TWO HOURS EARLIER**

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Ginny Weasley asked as she eyed Hermione with sincere concern. She grabbed her coat from the coat stand by their front door and quickly slipped it on.

Bloody non-fat soy pudding. Bloody _Phlegm._

If it weren't for Bill and her adorable nieces – okay fine, she was more agreeable now than before – Ginny wouldn't put up with all this vegan nonsense of Fleur. She could almost hear her one fourth of a _veela_ sister-in-law complain if she fails to prepare a vegan dessert for New Year's Dinner – again. _'Ginevra, what did I tell you? This iz not vegan!'_ The thought of hearing her given name in French made her shudder.

Hermione dismissed her look of concern. "C'mon Ginny, I've looked after your kids before. Of course, I can handle this."

"Oh Mione, I know you're smart enough to know that that isn't what I meant"

"Whatever do you mean?" Hermione asked, feigning ignorance.

Ginny shot her an incredulous look and bobbed her head towards the blonde man chatting animatedly with her sons in the living room. She only received a confused look in return.

"Seriously? You're giving me that look? I'm pregnant Hermione, not stupid."

"I know and you're a very nosy pregnant woman who needs to leave now otherwise, you'll never find that blasted vegan dessert you forgot to buy – again."

The redhead rolled her eyes and sighed heavily in dismay. "Fine. If that's how you want it then I'll leave you to your denial. Just don't let me catch you arguing in front of my kids or worse, snogging in my kitchen – _again._ "

"Ginny!" Hermione's cheeks flushed red at the memory of being walked in by Harry and Ginny last Summer. She placed her hands on her hips and opened her mouth to recite her rather well-rehearsed justification, but Ginny had cut her off.

"And don't you dare blame it on Quidditch and your bleedin' _summer fever_. I can almost feel my unborn child roll her eyes in disbelief at how ridiculous that sounds." As if on cue, she felt a strong kick in her belly that made her wince in pain. "See! She agrees!"

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. Yes, it was unfortunate to be left alone with the git while _their_ friends go out to run some errands, but she just didn't want to sort out her complicated feelings. Well – not yet. Still lost for words on how to appease Ginny, Harry miraculously appeared and asked his wife if she was ready to leave.

Call it perfect timing. She can always count on Harry to save the day.

Ginny muttered yes to her husband and shot Hermione one last stinky eye. Harry noticed and raised a questioning eyebrow. _You don't want to know_ was all she could mouth before they closed the door.

Bloody non-fat soy pudding. Bloody _Phlegm._

* * *

It's been seven years since the Battle of Hogwarts was won and the wizarding world has never been the same. The tremendous loss of magical blood, especially of innocent lives, was enough to unite survivors from both sides of the fight – blood heritage will never divide their world again.

Of course, it hadn't been easy. Several ideologies, practices, and laws had to be changed. Hermione Granger made it her life's mission to contribute to this cause by joining the Ministry's Department of Magical Law Enforcement. After finishing her 7th year in Hogwarts, that is.

Going back to Hogwarts was full of surprises. For Hermione and her friends, it included staying indoors after curfew and much to everyone's surprise, befriending Slytherins – one of which was Draco _sodding_ Malfoy. Sure, he was a bully, but they were children then. Even Harry and Ron were willing to overlook the past in consideration of his noble contributions in the war. Not only did he deny them when they were captured in their manor, he also led the Slytherin students in turning a new leaf and siding with the Order.

" _Enough with our pure blood supremacy!" they heard someone shout as they rounded the corridor outside of the Great Hall. Harry stopped and held up his wand, silently moving ahead of Hermione and Ron to see who it was. The man continued, "None of it matters when were all dead and rotting six feet under. This war? This war is pointless! Even the Dark Lord himself is a half-blood!"_

" _Then why do we have to fight? We can just go! Escape!"_

" _Give them Potter for all we care!"_

" _Fuck you and your fucking self-preservation! Our backward ideologies brought this war upon us! We may not be known for our bravery, loyalty, or wit, but we are cunning and resourceful. It's about time bring some sense of honor and dignity back into our house."_

 _Her Gryffindor curiosity be damned, Hermione gasped in surprise when she followed Harry and saw that it was Draco Malfoy giving an impassioned speech to his housemates. Unfortunately, her reaction had been audible and the group of surprised Slytherins looked towards their direction._

" _Malfoy" Harry greeted as he approached._

" _Potter"_

 _Unsure at first why he took the broomstick from the Hall, Harry handed it to Draco and said "You might want to use that cunning nature up in the sky"_

An unlikely friendship at first, but that was the moment Harry and Draco began trusting each other. A trusting relationship that proved useful in their several missions together as Aurors. However, that didn't mean that Draco has stopped being a prat. He still gave snarky remarks, made it his life's mission to rile Ron up until his face was red as his hair (he was surprisingly much nicer to Neville), and took every opportunity available to challenge Hermione into a discussion no matter how pointless the topic was.

One such example is the situation they are currently at.

"Albus can drink his milk from a sippy cup if he wants to!"

"Oh yes he _can_ but it doesn't mean that he _should_!"

"What the hell Malfoy, he is a toddler not an infant!"

"I know Granger! I'm his bloody godfather! All I'm saying is that sippy cups are for water and juice while feeding bottles such as this are for milk. Everything has its place – even dirty laundry has its place!"

"Ugh! I loathe you!" Hermione took the feeding bottle in his hand and went to the sink to make Albus' milk. She hated it whenever he flashed a self-satisfied smirk after winning an argument with her. While she didn't give a damn whether the milk was placed in a sippy cup or a bleeding feeding bottle, she did care about her godson and she'd rather get him fed than win over Draco _sodding_ Malfoy.

After seven scoops of infant formula, she shook the bottle in her hands and scanned Ginny's kitchen, "Malfoy, where are the boys?"

"They're –" Draco paused as he looked around "— just right here."

A flicker of fear sparked in their eyes when they realized that the boys were not in the same room as them anymore. They rushed to the living room as they shouted their names and started to panic when they did not respond. Both casted a patronus to help them search the house and a wave of relief washed over them when they heard giggling sounds from upstairs. They ran as fast as they could and saw the boys playing with a silver otter and ferret in their shared bedroom.

Sensing their presence, the patronuses turned towards the door and dissolved into thin air as they approached. Five-year old James and three-year old Albus were seated on the floor next to their teddy bear, Mr. Snugglebum.

"James, Albus, what did we tell you about going around the house when your mum and dad aren't here?" Hermione asked sweetly as she sat next to Albus while Draco knelt beside James.

The brothers looked at each other but refused to answer.

Draco nudged playfully at James and asked, "Hey there chap, care to speak up as the eldest?"

James sighed and recited "Always tell Uncle Draco or Aunt Hermione"

"So why didn't you?"

"Because…"

"Because?"

Albus stood up and crossed his arms in front of him "Because you two were fighting!"

"Oh honey, we're not fighting. Uncle Draco and I are just… discussing." Draco snorted which earned him a glare from the brunette witch across him.

"B-but y-you keep shouting", Albus answered with a pout.

"And you had your hands in the waist like mummy when she's mad", added James.

Hermione felt her heart sink at the boys' confession. Ginny had told her on one occasion that the boys got really upset when they last witnessed Draco and she have a row. Why did their favorite uncle and aunt didn't get along? Hermione wanted to say, 'Oh boys, you'll understand when you get older' but all she could answer back was "Sorry you had to hear that."

Draco must've felt the same way when he said "Yeah, we're sorry about that." But, for some godforsaken reason, he just had to add fuel to the fire when he added, "Just don't forget to tell Aunt Hermione that milk is meant to be placed in bottles next time."

Surely, he had meant that to be a joke, but Hermione just had enough. She felt her ears go hot in rage with that remark.

"Are. You. Kidding. Me?!" she heard her voice a tad louder as she slowly stood up. She didn't mean to raise her voice in front of the kids, but she was just so… angry! Surprised with her sudden outrage, James' eyes grew wider while Albus was on the verge of crying. Draco chose to stand up too.

"Granger! What got your knickers in a knot? Are you on your bleedin' period?!"

"I am not! And if I were, what's the point of bringing it up? Why do you have to be so insensitive!"  
"I meant it as a joke Granger! A fucking joke!"  
"So, is that all I am to you? A joke? In front of our godsons nonetheless?"  
"Ugh! Stop reading between the lines because there is nothing in between! Not everything is a bloody puzzle so stop rationalizing!"  
"Oh no, no, no mister! You are crossing –"

"Please stop fighting!" James shouted as he hugged his younger brother who was now bawling. Draco and Hermione stopped arguing and was surprised when the boys suddenly rushed out of the room.

"Kids, wait –" Hermione made her way for the door but stopped when James shouted again, "No!"

"Uncle Draco and Aunt 'Mione time out!"

And without a warning, the bedroom door slammed shut – leaving their uncle and aunt on their own to reflect on their childlike behavior.

* * *

 **Left some nuggets of AVPM and AVPS lines. Did you notice? I'm a Starkid fan!**

 **Please let me know what you think!  
** **Thank you!**


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